Getting the “action” shot

When I started putting together things for my online dating profiles I did my research. I’m not one to leave things to chance and have no qualms about learning from other’s mistakes, so I promptly jumped onto Google and searched out some of the advice out there.

Armed with that (often conflicting) advice I trawled through my photo archives and promptly got very annoyed with myself. Almost every photo was either totally horrible or had my ex-wife in it! Almost every. Single. One.

You see, until she did what she did, I never thought I’d have any need to worry about how I looked in photos. I was in a happy marriage with a woman who loved me whether I looked weird or not, so I never had to do any of the classic poses or face contortions in order to help attract a mate.

Now it was a different story, however. There was no way – no way at all – that I was ever going to meet someone without online dating, so somehow or other I needed to find at least a handful of shots of me which showed me in something of a good light.

And not just all the same shot, either. This seems to be the list to choose from:

  • A face-shot/selfie (to show you aren’t a total munter)
  • A shot of you with friends (you’re funny and charming enough to have friends, right?!)
  • A shot of you with an animal
  • A shot of you with a small child that you make VERY CLEAR is not yours
  • A shot of you with an elderly relative
  • A full-length shot of your body
  • An action shot of you doing something exciting
  • A topless selfie of you in a bathroom

Okay, that last one seems to be what people do have rather than what they should. However, the penultimate one is where I’ve fallen down. I’ve got a few acceptable shots of my face (or at least as acceptable as they’ll ever be), a full-length shot of me in a suit with a small child clutched to my legs (though he is my own rather than borrowed) and a shot of me doing the Crystal Maze, but I have nothing at all of me in action actually doing anything exciting.

I used to do exciting things. I used to play Australian Rules Football. I used to work out and swim. I used to go on cycling holidays through the Alps. I have travelled the world – literally. But all of that was five or more years ago. What have I done lately?!

No, it wasn’t good enough. I needed an action shot. I thought about staging one; rubbing some mud on my face, attaching a number to my chest and heading to the park to pretend I was a mud-run type of guy. Or perhaps do a full John Terry full-kit-wanker and invade a random football match in a kit, pretending I was playing.

Or perhaps I wouldn’t need to. Perhaps I already had something coming up which might be suitable, where I’d be heading to somewhere interesting and identifiable and which might stand out a little.

Perhaps Mount Everest would do, after all.

Yep, as this post goes live I’ll be halfway up Mount Everest, on my way to Base Camp. At least I hope I will; I hope my knees won’t collapse on me and that altitude sickness doesn’t mean I get helicoptered down, but the ambition is definitely there.

So there it is – my action shot. Unfortunately for me it’ll still have my real face in it, and even worse it’ll have my not-shaved-or-showered-or-slept-in-days face in it, but it’s the best I can offer at this point.

Now I just need to remember to take my camera with me…

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5 thoughts on “Getting the “action” shot

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  1. I would have to correct your list. You should have at least one photo of your face, one full-length photo, and an action shot. “Action” just means doing something–sports, cooking, playing music, painting, teaching a class–whatever. Doesn’t have to be something crazy. NO on the animal shot. NO on the small child shot. NO on the elderly relative. And HELL NO on the bathroom selfie, shirtless or not. Does that help? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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